My Lullaby


Throughout my life, I used to have my own lullaby. Well when it comes about lullaby, I'll choose it carefully so I could sleep, safe and sounded. When I started my secondary school, I was fully exposed by English Song by the radio, internet, friends etc etc.  Well, English song is not that bad at my first thought. However, after year by year, I'm started to realize something.. Something odd about myself.

Then, when I started to learn about English song, there is a strange bond between me and these songs. I mean, every song. I began to attach to 'em like a nail to a finger. Every single English song will be my lullaby, every night. Plus it getting worst when I owned my personal Hi-5 speaker. Every night my room will be like a disco as the volume is turned up to the max! I felt like having a party in my room. Sighs.

To think it again, I did missed something during those years. My soul is empty! Those English Songs did made me felt alive, but the truth is my life is like a zombie. A body without a soul. I used to think that, this is my happiness. I used to say that I am fine, this the way of life that I wanted to live like. Until one time, I realize that this English song never fill my emptiness. I lost my way.

Till there, I won't tell you what happen to me after that. Its gonna be a long journey to go back to the past and flash back the memories. I won't do so, as I want to say here that, I do made a wrong judgement at past. English song is good indeed, but it is just "good". In other term, not good enough to lead your life. And please don't listen to English song before you sleep. Ain't no fun dude! They'll hypnotize your subconscious mind during sleeping. It quite scary actually. Certain lyrics have cursing words. So its better for you to listen to zikrullah or ayat-ayat suci Quran.

Actually, until now I'm still listen to 'em. But not kinda drug addicted like I used to be, before. It just for fun but it not gonna be my lullaby anymore. Well it is hard to remove a bad habit just like that.

Hurm.. Right now I try to listen to nasyid and qasidah. Surely they're not my taste, they don't have the" hard, rock and cursing" part. "Just another lame songs" - This is what I used to think at the past. But, now I want to get use to listen to this song so it gonna be a part of me.

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